Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
ok first of all what the fuck
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
