So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
