Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
