FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
