You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
