I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
