sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
