hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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