I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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