she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
