Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
