If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
