Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
