Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
