oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
