sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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