I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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