shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Pappa wants mamma naked
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
