I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
