Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
