I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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