He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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