Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
