Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Welp...herpes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
