Cold hands, warm shart.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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