We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
handjob tips. give me some.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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