using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
