We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
