You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
