Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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