Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize