Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
