i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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