The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
