Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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