Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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