when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
