I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
