Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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