Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
