Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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