What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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