If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
