STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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