I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
