Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
