Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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