I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
