She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
