Im at strip club and am horny
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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